Helloooooo everybody! We've decided to start this pregnancy blog as a chance to have a mini online scrap-book of the whole pregnancy experience for baby #2; as a chance to keep family and friends updated on what's going on in our lives; and as an outlet for this pregnant mommy when the going gets tough :). And as a disclaimer: This blog is about our life and my random thoughts and opinions on things. If there is something you disagree with (and i'm putting this disclaimer out there because I'm going to be very honest with this blog), then I may suggest just not following it anymore. Now back to business...I figured I would start out this first post by backing up a bit to the beginning (because there was a beginning of things...no surprises here). For those who don't know, Jason and I waited until marriage to "be together" because of our faith and out of discipline to God. There were many other reasons on top of that but those are the main ones. Well this led to a discussion as we prepared for marriage on how we were going to approach family planning and protection, etc. After praying about it for a while, we both felt that we needed to step up and live out our faith. If we truly believe that God is all powerful, then we need to believe and trust that HE and he alone is the giver of life. And that HE and he alone will bless us with a life when the time is right. All of this meaning that we were choosing to not use protection. This was not an easy decision to come to, because it sincerely tested our trust in God. Even after that decision was made, and even after we were married, this was something that we prayed about daily because those fears and non-trusting thoughts come in (are we ready to have a baby, are we crazy for doing this, etc.) God proved that he was in charge from the get-go, and it got easier trusting him in this area as time went one. I remember the first time I had a feeling that I was pregnant about a month ago, and of course being the crazy person I am took about 50 pregnancy tests until I finally got a solid (not faint!) line. The nice thing about trusting in God is that anxiousness and worry were not a part of the joy Jason and I had when we knew for sure we were expecting a baby. If God thinks that it is the right time, then we can be rest-assured that we have nothing to fear. So to throw Jason under the bus now, I do have to say that the week after we found out, he had moments where he would just look at my stomach and start crying because he was so happy (and while I may laugh because he's such a big mush, it was really, really, really sweet). Since we have found out, I have made my biggest decision yet: I scheduled an appointment with a midwife and not a doctor. I was not happy at all with my experience delivering Luca. Or any of the appointments leading up to that. I felt like all control was taken out of my hands and the main goal was to get me in and out as quickly as possible. I had a pretty excruciating back labor on top of an already injured tailbone that most likely got pushed even further out of place. The epidural paralyzed me and only numbed the areas of my body that were not hurting. So I felt all the pain and was strapped to a bed unable to move for 12 hours. It literally was the worst and best day of my life all rolled into one. So I have a few goals this time around: 1. To allow my body to go into natural labor. NO pitocin. Even if my water breaks like it did the last time. 2. To be able to use water as a pain reliever for the contractions. Whether it be a shower or a bath, warm water calms me down and I would like the option to use this. 3. To use different forms of pain relief besides an epidural. I am not opposed to medicine, however I had a bad experience not only with the epidural but also the injection of the epidural (which was done wrong initially and had to be put in twice). I know other forms of pain medicine are out there and I would not be opposed to looking into those. 4. To remember that labor is as hard for the baby as it is for me. I didn't even think about luca when I was in labor until I physically saw him after he was born. I want to be more aware of the work we are both doing. 5. To be caaaaaallllmmmm. Now given the fact that things in my life are 180 degrees different this time around than the last, I'm hoping this shouldn't be hard to achieve. Having the support of Jason alone already calms my fears about delivery. As far as my goals for the pregnancy itself goes, here they are too: 1. To NOT gain 75 pounds like I did with Luca. 2. To not drink coffee (done and done) OR pop (a lot less intake but not 100% there), and a LOT more water (doing fairly good on this too). 3. To treat my body like I actually have a baby in it and be more careful about things like stress, work, etc. 4. To have fun this time. I didn't have fun last time. 5. To keep up as good of a baby book as I did with Luca so this baby won't feel jealous :) I've pretty much got a lot of work ahead of me, but I'm really excited about this journey. And to be able to experience it in a different life I have where I feel safe, cared for, not depressed, and with God's help is more than I could have ever dreamed for. Until the next post! :)
